Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize