thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
