i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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