Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
