Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
