I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
