I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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