Apparently you make a good broom.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
