My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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