ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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