k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I think I sprained my soul last night
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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