were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize