I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize