so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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