i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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