thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize