Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
