Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
