Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
