i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
