so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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