Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
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