Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
worst night to have a conscience
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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