the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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