I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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