And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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