I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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