Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
