He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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