dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
