It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
