swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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