So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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