my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
