Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
