my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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