he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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