I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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