It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize