I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
