laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
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sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
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A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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