If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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