What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
