I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
