remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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