im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
