i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
