we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
