The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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