so explain again why im purple
no
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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