they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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