wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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