Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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