I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
even my farts smell like vagina
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
