she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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