i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
