Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
