Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
