wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
