Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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