xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
